{"id":3101,"date":"2014-04-01T18:11:48","date_gmt":"2014-04-01T18:11:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.philippinesentinel.org\/?p=3101"},"modified":"2014-04-01T18:11:48","modified_gmt":"2014-04-01T18:11:48","slug":"flipland-chronicles-part-two-by-t-tinio","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.philippinesentinel.org\/?p=3101","title":{"rendered":"Flipland Chronicles (Part two) by T. Tinio"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!--[if !mso]> \n\n<style>\nv\\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}\no\\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}\nw\\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}\n.shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);}\n<\/style>\n\n <![endif]--><\/p>\n<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal<\/w:View> <w:Zoom>0<\/w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves>false<\/w:TrackMoves> <w:TrackFormatting \/> <w:PunctuationKerning \/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas \/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false<\/w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false<\/w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false<\/w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF \/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-AU<\/w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE<\/w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE<\/w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables \/> <w:SnapToGridInCell \/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct \/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules \/> <w:DontGrowAutofit \/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark \/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp \/> 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10]> \n\n<style>\n \/* Style Definitions *\/\n table.MsoNormalTable\n\t{mso-style-name:\"Table Normal\";\n\tmso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;\n\tmso-tstyle-colband-size:0;\n\tmso-style-noshow:yes;\n\tmso-style-priority:99;\n\tmso-style-qformat:yes;\n\tmso-style-parent:\"\";\n\tmso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;\n\tmso-para-margin:0cm;\n\tmso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;\n\tmso-pagination:widow-orphan;\n\tfont-size:11.0pt;\n\tfont-family:\"Calibri\",\"sans-serif\";\n\tmso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;\n\tmso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;\n\tmso-fareast-font-family:\"Times New Roman\";\n\tmso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;\n\tmso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;\n\tmso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;\n\tmso-bidi-font-family:\"Times New Roman\";\n\tmso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}\n<\/style>\n\n <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults v:ext=\"edit\" spidmax=\"1027\" \/> <\/xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout v:ext=\"edit\"> <o:idmap v:ext=\"edit\" data=\"1\" \/> <\/o:shapelayout><\/xml><![endif]--><\/p>\n<table style=\"height: 46px;\" border=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"0\" width=\"1\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"388\" height=\"0\"><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><\/td>\n<td><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p><br style=\"mso-ignore: vglayout;\" \/> <em style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;\">(Editor&#8217;s Warning: Just as in Part One, This article contains language that prudish readers may find offensive. The author is a post-menopausal virgin answering to the name of Teresita who wishes to keep her real identity a secret because she is still in an Anglican convent in New Zealand. Proceed at your own risk.)<!--more--><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNoSpacing\"><span style=\"font-size: 3.0pt; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;,&quot;serif&quot;;\"> <\/span><span style=\"font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: &quot;Arial Narrow&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: ES-TRAD;\" lang=\"ES-TRAD\"><span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\"><\/span><\/span><em style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"><\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNoSpacing\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: &quot;Arial Narrow&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-ansi-language: ES-TRAD;\" lang=\"ES-TRAD\">Let\u2019s talk dirty.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\"> <\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: &quot;Arial Narrow&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;\">Let\u2019s talk politics.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNoSpacing\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: &quot;Arial Narrow&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;\">There is an ancient legend in Flipland about a feral bitch in heat who encountered and mated with a horny drunk. From this coupling the Founding Father of Flip politics was born. In recognition of his maternal origin, history calls him \u201cHideputa\u201d and to honor his memory it has been the practice of Flips elected to public office to add this name to the ones they are born with. This eponymous appendage underscores the basic truth that only mothers with manners and morals unique to the oldest profession can raise and motivate children to be successful in the kindred profession of politics. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNoSpacing\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: &quot;Arial Narrow&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;;\">Likewise, this adoptive name shared by all Flip politicians, Pricks and Assholes alike, serves to emphasize that fucking and shitting on Flipland is a fraternal undertaking and must be conducted in an atmosphere of civility expected of next door neighbours, just as the named organs<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\"> <\/span>are in human anatomy.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\"> <\/span>Accordingly, the surface of Flipland\u2019s political life is governed by protocols and parliamentary rules summarized into one phrase, \u201cEtiquette before ethics.\u201d Beneath that surface, however, the guiding principle of Hideputa morality dominates \u2014 the law of love, the greatest love of all \u2014 the love of self.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: &quot;Arial Narrow&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;\">The successful African Hideputa Flip owes his African-ness and Hideputa-ness to the Hopeless Idiots whose absolute lack of intelligence is compensated by nature with prodigious fertility and in their numbers gave them the power to elevate a Flip. While this<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\"> <\/span>bodes ill to the future course of human evolution,<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\"> <\/span>it<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\"> <\/span>ensures the survival of the Hideputa species giving its members the house edge in the crap game that is Flipland politics. As in all crap tables, the electoral game is played with money but the emergence of Hopeless Idiots as the prime determinant in winning the contest<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\"> <\/span>made popularity (or name recall) a vital ingredient. This loaded the dice in favor of film personalities and those with family ties to established Afro-Hideputa politicos.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: &quot;Arial Narrow&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;\">And so, thanks to the tribe of Hopeless Idiots, Flipland\u2019s political scene is now studded with denizens of the sound stage and second or third generation Hideputas. The actor who has successfully clambered up to African status acquired and<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\"> <\/span>honed his moral values and work ethic from the chink producers who exploited him and from faggot managers and faggot directors he worked with (and sometimes became intimately involved with, usually <a name=\"_GoBack\"><\/a>at the initial stages of his career). Little or no adjustment is necessary from the studio to the chambers of Flipland\u2019s Babuyan Pambansa. The same may be said of the second or third generation dynasts as they had their elders for mentors. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: &quot;Arial Narrow&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;\">And what about the lawyers who used to dominate Flipland politics?<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\"> <\/span>They\u2019re still there. They started it all.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span style=\"font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: &quot;Arial Narrow&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;\">It\u2019s more fun in Flipland.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(Editor&#8217;s Warning: Just as in Part One, This article contains language that prudish readers may find offensive. The author is a post-menopausal virgin answering to the name of Teresita who wishes to keep her real identity a secret because she is still in an Anglican convent in New Zealand. Proceed at your own risk.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[33,52,57],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.philippinesentinel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3101"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.philippinesentinel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.philippinesentinel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.philippinesentinel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.philippinesentinel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3101"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.philippinesentinel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3101\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.philippinesentinel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3101"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.philippinesentinel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3101"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.philippinesentinel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3101"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}