That’s it. Pacman has swallowed all the pills in his path and vanquished all the ghosts in the game. The inevitable has happened. There’s nobody left to fight, except Mayweather, if he ever grows the cojones to get in the ring with Manny. There’s only one thing left for Manny to do – Dancing with the Stars.
And why not? They had Sugar Ray Leonard and Lila Ali? Manny’s a bigger star now than either of those two ever were. And if Manny has the stones to sing on national TV, he’s not likely to turn away from dancing on national TV.
No. Don’t groan. Just think of all the good this would do for the Philippines. With Manny competing, particularly if he’s paired with Cheryl Burkes, the sexiest, earthiest Filipina since Elizabeth Oropesa and Vivian Velez, every Filipino with a cell phone – that means all 100-million in the Philippines–would be texting their votes to keep him in.
Now, as we all know, every text sent through Globe – or is it Smart – is money in the pocket of our very own Manny V. Pangilinan. With MVP’s propensity for reinvestment, he’d have all this money to acquire and run even more businesses and government projects. And with his business acumen and record for success, the entire economy would be humming along at an accelerated pace, GDP will double, and money will trickle down. The lives of the poor will improve, the now burgeoning middle class will grow even bigger and the rich will get richer and give more to charity and pay more taxes. Okay, maybe not that last one.
And for one hour twice a week, with the entire country watching and texting, families would be doing something together and bonding. The whole country would also be praying that Manny not get booted out, and we all know that praying can only further strengthen our relationship with the Creator Who is likely to be even more generous to and bestow more blessings on our people.
Crime rates would be zero. Politicians would not be telling lies (because they wouldn’t be talking; their mouths would be open and their tongues hanging out at the sight of Cheryl and all the other young, voluptuous, female dancers jiggling and gyrating in their ultra-skimpy costumes. (Or drooling over the chiselled bodies of the male pros, depending on one’s preferences.)
Of course, there’s one possible downside. After watching those all but naked bodies bumping and grinding for an hour twice a week, we could see a population spike the following year.