On getting old by Aida Morden, PhD

Aging is a natural process that we cannot control, like so many things in this world that we do not have a way of controlling. It is a natural process that whether we like it or not will come, will arrive, will inevitably happen. The question “Do you like getting old?” for me is not the correct question. Because when we answer ‘yes’, of course we are kidding ourselves. To answer ‘no’ is probably more truthful.

I don’t like getting old, if getting old means (having) a bulging belly, wrinkly arms and legs, sagging face and neck, being forgetful,….., wetting when you laugh and cough, hypertension, weak heart, weak knees, no sex …. all the signs of dying.

Indeed, it is in fact natural for everyone not to like getting old; it is a natural desire to want to live forever, a natural human instinct to survive. Why do we avoid accidents? Why are we conscious of what we eat or why do we eat in the first place? Because we get hungry and hunger is a natural way of telling us that our cells need to be nourished so we can continue to live.

I believe that the correct question is, “Do we understand and accept old age?” And then, “Do we respect the coming of age, old age.” We do not like getting (old) but we accept it and with accepting comes the acceptance of the signs of aging.

What I like in being old is wisdom. Knowledge and the way we use this knowledge to pursue friendship cannot be learned within a short time. Wisdom is learned through time, through the process of interaction with fellow human beings. This is the essence of the Chinese saying, “Life begins at 40.”

With the onset of computer technology that redefined the way we acquire knowledge, life is a process, not a memory. The young ones are learning so many things in so short a time, but they are missing out on human interaction, on sharing, learning from one another, feeling for others, loving and being friends with others.

But this only comes through a life-long process. This is what I like in being old. I have experienced and continue to experience the friendship of human beings. I experience with them the insecurity, the security, the longing for sunrise, the beauty of sunset, the fear, the joy, and all the humane feelings of love and sharing. I taste the food that they cook, I celebrate with them the joy of our children getting married, having children, getting a new job, their birthdays. I share the sorrows of passing, the tears of heartbreak. I talk to them in a place full of people, young and old talking to each other, laughing, crying, hating and loving.

Do I like being old? I like life, I love life and being old is not being dead, So even when old, I enjoy life, talking to people, sharing each other’s thoughts, having lunch together, doing something for others, for our community, criticising, praising, singing and dancing. We talk about everything, So I enjoy life with people, with friends, with sons and daughters and grandchildren and other relatives.

We love life because we love being human and humane. It doesn’t matter whether we are young or young once. “Age doesn’t matter.” When was the last time we heard this said? Probably we could start saying this again, as we collect more years to our dear lives. – ?

Updated: 2010-08-12 — 05:14:29