A reflection: Siblings and Bosom Friends

(Dedicated to my bosom friends: Ben Barrera, Dino Crescini, Jess Diaz, Obet Dionisio, Wolfgang Henning, Vir Lim, Doc Padilla, and Ed Samaniego.)

How we wish to be physically close to the ones who are distant from us. We want to be able to chat with them at a moment’s notice. Yet, we’re not too keen to communicate more frequently with those who are conveniently accessible to us using the internet. We find ourselves rarely touching base with those whose houses are very close to ours. Siblings seem to be more comfortable in knowing that “no news is good news.”

Blessed and fortunate are those who at an early have managed to escape from their dependency on their parents and have learned to recognise and practice self-determination, confidence, respect, leadership, financial and emotional independence. We are what we are TODAY, the PRESENT ~ not yesterday and not tomorrow! We can only change ourselves for the better. If we allow history to teach us, biblical or otherwise, relationships even amongst blood relatives are not that encouraging especially when there is economic disruption and religious differences. But this should not stop us from becoming a benefactor to the poor and the needy. This role is a blessing from God and need to be constantly applied for God’s bountiful blessings to continue.

As an individual, anyone close to me ~ friends or relatives here or far away; are the ones to whom I say ‘hello’. These are the people to whom I can talk whenever I need someone desperately. They are my FAMILY. I may have a blood relative somewhere, but if that individual is not too keen to keep in touch, it is understood that that person has already an established FAMILY around him or her. That being the case, I would not do any chasing.

An absence of reciprocity among acquaintances, friends or family, after hosting at least 3 events (and anything similar) means that the relationship cannot not go to the next level.

Bonding is a two-way street and it can only flourish through time. I am only deluding myself to think that I have found my best friend a few months ago who happened to be my employer, co-worker, minister, co-worshiper, business partner, client, etc. etc etc. Bosom friends are not found in these levels, but in a state where you can look at each other eye to eye, speak the same language and share the same vision. That being the case, I would temporarily cease contact and focus on the persons around me who are my “TRUE FAMILY”. If we truly love someone, we are also ready to give him or her up to others at the proper time.

We have limited control over our life with regards to our health and destiny and that is a painful reality. Should that life expire today or tomorrow, I will respect whatever the life he or she led and I will make no judgement. I just hope that the FAMILY that we allow ourselves to be with will be consistent till the end unless these FAMILIES are just there for the good times. That is sad.

For now, what links us (siblings) together is our dear mother which is our common denominator. Without diminishing my relationship with all my younger siblings, I have exceptional close relationships with individuals whom I call my few bosom friends — 5 small groups of 4-6 couples and 1 large group. We aim to be there for each other for the long haul. I am sure you also have done it through the years and have acquired bosom friends along the way. Bosom friends are tested through the years and share the same goal. The question now begs to be asked ~ will you have someone with you when you are old, helpless or handicapped? Unfortunately, 6 of my bosom friends passed away and another 8 are still alive but all older than me. When I tell any of my bosom friends that he is my only surviving best friend, and he instinctively and abruptly say that he refuses to be my best friend anymore! Tough luck! I say “bosom friends are as scarce as hen’s tooth!”

Updated: 01/02/2013 — 08:41:39